The Chosen One

It’s official. In the words of the three-eyed aliens of Toy Story, “He’s been chosen!”

Tom Cruise is the new Jesus. That’s the word out of Scientology HQ. Scientology bigwig David Miscavige has said that in future, the world’s shortest Messiah will be worshipped like Jesus because he’s raised the profile of the cult.

In fact, it may have been three-eyed aliens who declared him to be Christ. Okay, well, it’s still fiction, but the difference is that only Scientologists don’t realise this.

It will be interesting to see how many people are willing to die for their faith in Tom.


3 Responses to The Chosen One

  1. Steve Hayes says:

    Well if Tom Cruise is Jesusm then Elron must have been Abraham. So Tom Cruise better watch out for Mohammed coming along.

  2. Michael says:

    Will couch-jumping be part of their liturgy?

  3. GrumpyTeacher1 says:

    I was about to ask the same thing as Michael

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